Friday, November 03, 2006

Men's Top 5

“You always write something negative about men!”
“Well, as they say, I am free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally,” came the cheeky reply.
“Do you, really?”
“Hmmm… I don’t know. Actually, no, but finding something really nice to write about them is difficult. I will try. I am not a feminist but then I am not conventional either, so that leaves me plenty of grey area to exercise on.”
“Come on! You are not being fair. There is plenty to admire them for.”
“The world is never fair and you are a man, so naturally, you will defend your case.”
“Tell me... you will prove it yourself… just tell me five things you like or admire in men”
“That’s too much to ask! Five things! Here I am struggling to think even one. But, yes let me think. It will be fun!”
“So?”
“Hmmm… Ok here it is (although with the disclaimer that even if what I write is true, no man will ever admit it, except for exceptions but that will make them exceptions to my theory as well). The 5 things I admire in men that I may never be able to do.”

1. Vanity Fair

Isn’t it amazing that when men pursue women, their bosses, their friends coming from abroad… they go all out? No woman will even think of spending a fortune on a man taking him to all the expensive wining dining experience and showering him with gifts (even though this is a highly temporary phenomena), just to make herself look good in his eyes. Na, she is too practical (and wise) for that.

2. Moral Obligations

All men have good intentions. Especially, if it is towards the woman they love and want to marry (not necessarily in that order). They know what is good for them and for her. There goodwill will spill over to all areas in her life… friends, relatives, what to wear (even more important, what not to wear), books, career, friends, relatives… oh I just realized that I am repeating myself… it can get very boring. Now you can’t accuse them of forgetting to ask what you think is good for yourself right? Afterall, that’s something a benevolent dictator will never do.

3. How flexible and easy to change they are

Now ladies, before you start shouting in protests, let me explain things a little. You see, there is a very big clause attached to it. The condition should be suitable and that includes unlimited supple of … err… alcohol. Your shrek will turn into a prince charming and will hang on to your words and even shower you with love and attention post the chemical reactions taking place with just barley water (aka beer). Maybe, Matt Groening knew what he was saying when he wrote, “To alcohol! The cause of, and the solution to, all problems of life”.

4. Respect your parents always

Sigh! His mom always did everything better. I wish I had the same devotion. Really!!


5. Optimum utilization

When you have to study how to use a resource optimally, there is no better example than the way men use their memory. We sometimes crib of their ‘selective amnesia’ but tell me which woman, if she wanted to, can forget dates (especially if it’s a birthday, an anniversary, the day you have to meet the parents, grocery shopping, well… it can go on and on). It’s absolutely fascinating to see how men can pull this off so well without any side effects (lets say … guilt?). It will take me years to master this and I can still not guarantee success.

“So what do you think?”
“ACs and women, never have been able to understand them!”