Tagged

I opened my blog after a long time, laziness prevailed and thanks to new “proactiveness” in office, didn’t even read a page forget write one since a month. Discovered I have been tagged grace a manorathan and as this tag goes, I have to write about five people or types of people I absolutely hate. It’s funny really, I have been thinking of people I really hate…as in the dictionary puts in: detest intensely and can’t come up with a single name. I can go with the usual blah blah of hypocrites, liars, egomaniacs (in media industry, every second person is a megalomaniac), but it won’t be true. I feel somewhere along the line I have bits and pieces of all these in me (how much I would like to disagree), so thought why not write about five moments in which I really hated these five people/ things:

My last maid - she couldn’t understand Hindi/English, I knew no word of Bengali, except elementary stuff like jal (pronounced as “jawl”) khabe, chand korbe (no it doesn’t mean staring at the moon at night). I, the ultimate believer that language is a trivial barrier, failed after shouting my throat hoarse that please clean the utensils properly… I broke my record of never firing anyone by saying bye bye to her within a month. Much to my chagrin, she perfectly understood the meaning of salary, holiday and no work today in Hindi… grr grr…

Bandhs – This no one can understand except the Bangla bandhus of Kolkata. On everything there is a bandh – a strike. It is as if these people have found an ingenious way of adding to all their holidays the government and the private firms took away in the name of productivity and efficiency. Oh! it doesn’t matter at all if someone’s life depended on reaching somewhere. These people take their bandhs very seriously- afterall, what is one man’s sacrifice in the name of the greater good?

Moi – Ofcourse how can I leave myself? After all good is boring and bad is in, so shall we make a count of all things I vowed never to do? One, two, three? Never to lie, never to cheat, never to have fooled around before marriage as ma says (naughty naughty), never to be confused and never to be greedy in the seven sins of life. Well, Mr. Bond, should have seriously followed your lesson – ‘Never say never again’.

Philips Kotler – I should begin with a disclaimer here (for the peace of mind of all MBA ‘jargonized’ civilization and aspiring ones – for there are many) that I intend to no way criticize the work of esteemed Mr. Kotler. After all, how can I, when (thanks to you) hundreds weedle their way out of squeamish interviews on ‘essence of branding and marketing’ to fat salaries using the great words like ‘4Ps, inflection vector, fragmentation’. For me the best use of ‘Marketing Management’ by Philip Kotler has been when I hit the heavy book on Y’s head in anger during one of our fights, and he almost fainted :)

Auntyji – this goes to all aunties of mine- fat, tall, short, slim, beautiful or ugly. The skin is just the covering as my next door sadhu baba would say. He is also into nude therapy (couldn’t stop myself from adding that part). Inside they are all the same. I wonder how can someone go into a mindless loop of when is someone getting married, who is having how many children and the most irritating of all, who is killing who in those twisted saas- bahu sagas. Although it also makes me wonder where is the missing link? Which DNA strand got twisted along the line to make us so susceptible to enjoying perverse emotions?