Deflower? anyone?

Dave Letterman (don’t ask me who he was, but someone very farsighted I suppose. You can always google him) once said,” Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.” I beg to disagree. They are the only ones who have it on the internet as well. Now before all your twisted thoughts get active, this doesn’t have to do with naughty websites or actions but has to do with naughty words…

I was sitting at D’s place, with a fruit juice in hand (I am trying to stay away from alcohol, end up confessing my ‘ever’ dying love to X in drunken state). She was on her laptop typing furiously and the ‘katkatkatak’ of keyboard was almost giving me a headache.

“What are you working on?”
“Oh nothing… just like that…talking to an old friend”
“Hmmm…”

I picked up my copy of M&B. It was eight years after I picked up a M&B at the airport (Mills & Boons for all deprived romantics) and thought maybe I should read to see how they are writing nowadays, whether it is the same younger trembling women and macho, tall dark, sexy hunks (who also happen to be millionaires and great kissers). How come real life is so different? I mean the one who is handsome doesn’t have money, the who has money has mistresses and the one who has both is gay. Life is unfair tell you. I found the same soppy romantic stuff page after page. I guess some things never change or may be we don’t want them to. M&B kept my romantic fantasies going when I was a high school kid and I am sure by the way it sells, they are still doing a good job at it.

“I am just so disgusted, it is just hormones, and no one actually loves someone like forever!” D said declaring in mid air and almost throwing her laptop aside. That jerked me from my steamy kiss and most probably err… the bedroom scene and I looked at her from my glasses (I had a meeting in Mumbai and had flown down. Glasses always add an extra touch. X was busy and I had an evening free. D was also free, for a change she had no date, so I went down to her place to enjoy her big fluffy bed and to sleep in with the AC blasted at artic temperatures, and you value AC when you live in a city like Mumbai. Callous but true. Besides there is something so snuggly to sleep in a chilly room under soft warm blanket.)
“What happened?” I asked.
“These men, they just want one thing all the time”
“Food?”
“Duh!!! Sex”
“Ah. And what brings it on?”
“Hold on, I need to check on our microwave pasta, I smell something burning”

I took the opportunity to snatch the laptop and check my mail. Her G talk was still open and she was having err… what can only be called cyber sex with some bloke is US! I like a good girl closed that window, and like a bad girl couldn’t help noticing words “deflower”, “womanhood” and “manhood”. It was funnier to me than eeeeky. I thought those words had gone away with the M&B novels I read 8-10 years back. Does anyone use “deflower” nowadays or for that matter know its meaning? (Incase you don’t know, you know where to go – Google). I also noticed how D connected more on an emotionally level. Even for a verbal and may be a casual encounter the words focused around “hugs”, “kisses”, “feelings” and the man, the US dude, was pretty graphic. What is even more interesting is how men and women connect even on the internet. For all those long distance lovers, there is no other way to make out, but even in words, women focus more on emotions where men are more on – what else but as they had put it “manhood”! (And you thought I was going say food). I wonder which gene mutation made us so fundamentally different. I guess, I can say at some level it is true that sex is equally between the ears as between the legs for a woman. But till it sinks in with the majority of the opposite side, I guess there will be more “Hail womanhood, my manhood beckons!” to be heard, errr… read about.