Dumpsville 2.0

Sitting on the stairs, accidentally locked out of my own flat, one can think a lot of useful and not-so-useful thinking (well, until my neighbour – who has been given a spare key for such occasion- returned, I couldn’t think of anything to do). I thought about last 4 months… they went in such such a whirr… it feels unreal. Moving back to Mumbai, searching a new house, not being able to write (yes, I am sorry and yes now I have discovered there IS such a thing called writer’s block) and falling out with X (or so it seems).


It’s strange how our mind works sometimes. I had imagined it more than a hundred times – eating, bathing, doing yoga, listening to music even sitting on potty, how X and I would fall out if things come to that. My mind made endless permutations and combinations of all the words, expressions, situations and perhaps tears that would come into play. I was surprised.

Not sad, not ‘I want to sit in some dark room and weep my eyes over sad movies and into my cornflakes (I prefer cornflakes over popcorn)’ depressed, not suicidal (gosh never! - not for a man Darling), just surprised. One day we just stopped talking, I tried to figure out what’s wrong once, then accepted the fact and just left it to be. I wouldn’t be honest if I said it didn’t hurt. It does, a lot, but as I explained it Dumpsville, it is most probably my ego and pride that has taken a beating.

On the positive side (yes, there is one, I am a firm believer of the silver lining theory) it gives me plenty of time to do yoga (that is what I am into nowadays), try new foods, movies, books even people. I spend hours lying with D discussing everything under the sun, listening to Duran Duran’s ‘come undone’ and always concluding that it will take a little time, might a little crying to come undone…

I don’t even know if it’s a fall out or there is a Dumpsville.3 lurking around somewhere, but then in this world even heart break comes with a price tag…