It was a long weekend. Like a scene from Richard Curtis’s ‘
Four Weddings and a Funeral’, I witnessed ‘Two Breakups and a Wedding’ within 48 hours. Right now, on a Monday morning, I am sitting in front of my comp, with a steaming cup of tea and wondering if a thing seems as light or serious as we think it to be. On Friday, it really felt like I was dying. Right now, it feels a bit different.
- 3 days back/ Friday night/ 8pm-
“
Hello… (sniff, sniff)”
“Hello? What happened? Why does it sound like you have been crying?”
“
D, it’s finally happened… X and I are no longer together… I think it maybe final this time” I replied trying to make coherent sounds through my tears. It happened over the weekend. As they say in politically correct language- we mutually decided it wasn’t really working for us. Correction. It was working so well for us that our conscience started to rebel. We decided to block each other on G chat, delete each other’s numbers, etc…
“
But sweetie, you guys were not together since last 2-3 weeks, what happened?”
“
Yes, we met again and made up, only to break up 15 minutes later. I am hurting like my heart is in a shredder!” I bawled, wiping my raccoon look (thanks to the flowing eye make-up) in the taxi.
I saw the driver giving me a ‘Sorry lady, but the conversation is too interesting not to be overheard’ look. I clear my throat and said to D now is the time when I really, really need the vodka swimming pool to drown in…
- 3 days back/ Friday night/ 11pm-
It fell like my mind was ringing. My whole body felt so light, but my heart felt heavy and numb even in my drunken state. D put on some peppy numbers and I gave her a glare through my red eyes and runny nose. I hated all peppy numbers right now. The ringing was even more prominent right now… I realized it was actually my cell phone ringing.
“
Allo” I could feel my tongue revolting even at the thought of forming a sentence.
“
Hi, this is P, I need an urgent help”
“
Aal I can do is geeve you a foffle right nof sweethearf”
“
Are you drunk? My god! I didn’t know you drank so much! You are slurring”
(In retrospect, I think if P would have known before that I have had my experiences with alcohol, he would have had invited me to his ‘
daaru’ (booze) parties long back)
“
Anyways I don’t have much time Tuna fish… who is with you right now?”
I handed the phone to D and roll over on the sofa cum bed…
- 2 days back/ Saturday morning/ 9 am
I felt like there was a tunnel being drilled in my mind… something was ringing and which each ring, the intensity of the drilling only increased. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like someone has stuck them with fevi-glue…
It was fourth time I finally located my cell phone and was about to throw it off with its continuous ringing that P’s name flashed on the screen. I remembered vaguely talking to him the last and picked the phone.
“
Hello”, I croaked. (I realized to my horror that instead of speech the only thing coming out was a series of croaks!)
“
Wow, you sound nice”
“
Well, you sound cheerful”, I replied in an accusatory tone.
“
When are you reaching the mandir? It is already 9:30am and you have to be there before 10:30 am, common get up and hurry!”
“
Mandir? What mandir? Where do I have to come?”
My each sentence was hurting my jaw and scraping my throat.
“
Tunafish! You forgot! Didn’t D tell you? I am getting married today! S ran away from home and came to my house last night. She was crying, saying her parents will never agree, so the only way left is to get married as soon as possible today before it snowballs”, he screeched (atleast that’s how it sounded to me – screech- in my worst possible hangover ever).
I wondered how could gods be so unfair? Here I am crying my eyes out over X and NO ONE is coming to my rescue!
“
Hello? Hello? Are you there?”
“
Yeah P, I am here. Tell me what I have to do and where I have to be?” I sighed resigning to my fate of playing the happy guest even when all I wanted to do was watch sad soppy movies and cry over my cornflakes.
“
Love you Tunes, here take down the list of things u have to get to the mandir…”
- 2 days back/ Saturday evening/ 4pm
The ringing of the cell phone just irritated me further. My hangover was still, well… hanging over me like a dark cloud, I was hungry, irritated (had to smile deliberately at the wedding when all I wanted to do was sulk and wallow in my inky blue depression) and was really aching for a hug from X. The ringing of the cell phone didn’t exactly reduce my troubled state.
“
Hello”, I snapped.
“
T… I just have had a breakup. Can you come and meet me? Please?”
That was H, my cousin and perhaps the only one who knew about her on/off boyfriend.
“Oh! I thought he has come to Mumbai for 2 days specially to meet you? What happened?”
“
He just stormed out of the house, bags and all, after a big fight. I don’t ever want to see his face again!” she replied between her sobs.
I sent a mute complaint to god – Why me? Why today?
“Baby, but what happened?”
“
Shopping”
“Eh?” I guess I will never be able to excel at man-woman stuff; I even had proof of it now.
“Yeah, he wanted to spend all two days shopping and when I said you go alone, he sulked and we had a big fight and he walked out!”
This was all I could understand between her fresh rounds of weeping. I promised I will reach there in half hour…
- 1 day back / Yesterday afternoon/ 2pm
I think I was past giving any attention to my cell phone anymore. My eyes were on fire from crying and my throat felt like someone had taken sandpaper and rubbed it with a vengeance to rectify all my sins. It felt like my heart had become a gaping black hole and sucked all my energy, emotions, love and feelings. I felt numb inside and outside and still ached. The sudden unfolding of events had swinged my state like a pendulum and I just wished I could disappear listening to Bryan Adam’s ‘Cuts like a Knife’ that was playing on the stereo. Well at last I admitted it to myself. I so wanted X…
- Today/ right now/ 4pm
I logged on to my email and chat account. I was surprised to see he had not blocked me yet. I couldn’t bring myself to block him out myself, and so I just sat and thought… random thoughts about him, him and me. It’s funny how things become clear when u sit calmly and think (yeah yeah, no rocket science this, but hard to follow). X will always be in my life, whether I accept it or not, he accepts it or not, is irrelevant. Even if don’t meet each other ever, that just becomes geography. The thoughts may never go. I spoke to him then, requesting him to stay friends and not with a pained heart but a genuine fondness. I don’t know what life will bring for us; maybe we will get together again, maybe not. Why lose such a good thing? We started as friends; we come back again to being friends. For now, the circle is complete.
